Who does that?

One of my favorite phrases is "Who does that?" The perfect timing to use this phrase is when someone does something completely unthinkable that happens to also be completely hilarious. Usually the answer to the who part of the question is a person who just doesn't give a fuck. They're crazy, they're hilarious. We salute them.

2012

 

The year is 2012. Washington, D.C. is mired in political turmoil and the end is no where in sight. America is afflicted with a serious disease called bipolar disorder. The country can no longer think in terms other than us. vs. them, Main Street vs. Wall Street, and one percent vs. the ninety-nine percent. There is one bright spot however. America has finally learned the concept of credit.

Nearly six-thousand miles away, Damascus, Syria faces an entirely different kind of political turmoil. Their unrest borders all-out civil war. With the state of volatility in Syria, civil war could be realized any day now. Russia and China want the other U.N. Security Council members to butt out. Russia on the other hand wants in. Clearly, Russia still wants its part of the Middle East. Russia's long-term survival rests on $125 per barrel oil prices (currently $116). Oil talks.

Iran and Saudi Arabia jockey to influence the developments in Damascus. Iran is closely aligned with Syria's current Assad regime. By extension, Saudi Arabia favors his opposition. Behind the scenes the two sides plot to out maneuver the other if and when the opposite side decides to move. So far, all is quiet. That could all change any day now. There is no love lost between Iran and Saudi Arabia. Their war is still cold...for now.

Israel cannot help but sit on the edge of its seat. For years, the Israelis have flirted with the idea of attacking Iran's nuclear weapon facilities. Iran's leader has not been shy about expressing his plans for Israel and no one in Israel believes this is an empty threat. If Iran plunges into open warfare on the Middle East subcontinent, Israel finally has the opening to attack Iran under pretenses of war. By aligning with Iran's likely enemy, Saudi Arabia, Israel will not paint itself as the aggressor. 

Back in Washington, a financially-strapped government must decide whether to aid its closest allies in the Middle East, Saudi Arabia and Israel. Since the Bush II administration the GOP has steered clear of foreign policy issues. A familiar faction in the Republican party reemerges in the debate over intervention. Back from a near decade-long hiatus, the neoconservatives bring back foreign policy to the GOP's front and center. Norman Podhoretz is still the wise teacher of this movement that demands Obama  put troops back in the Middle East. It's only been a year since Afghanistan and Iraq have been withdrawn.

The stock market is frozen. Commodity prices sky rocket. In Russia, Putin gets his $125 per barrel oil prices and his budgetary concerns are quelled. There's rampant violence in the Middle East. 

The year is 2012.