Long time, no post. I'll just give it the old "I've been busy line." Between new work and disfunctional computers, it's not easy to blog. Then again, nobody said it'd be easy...
In the spirit of such list-inspired sites such as Brobible.com and BustedCoverage.com, I've decided to start an ongoing list of life's "Do's and Don'ts". For all intensive purposes, this will be a pretty universal list...in other words, there will be a little something for everyone. However, I will put out make a disclaimer that there will be more male-geared advice than female. Why? Because, I don't quite understand the female mind as say would...an actual female. Hopefully that suffices.
Anyways, I'll hit you with a few of these words of wisdom, which I'll just call my Real Talk Commandments. Look for more installments in the future.
1. Roll with cash...
Whether you're a personal finance guru or a dimwit who owes hundreds of thousands to Visa and Mastercard, you should know one thing....always roll with cash. Okay, so this is a bit over-generalized, I know, but there's never a situation in life where it's good to leave the house without some paper money. I say at least a $20 is pretty standard (I prefer 21 because I consider it a lucky charm) but something is better than nothing. If you like to go out on weekends, rolling with cash is a must. Research how much money you usually spend each weekend and then withdraw that amount (in cash) from your bank on Friday afternoon. When you go out, leave half of it at home and then bring half with you (for Friday and Saturday). You should have about as much money as you'll need (maybe a little less if it's a Dude, Where's My Car? night). This way, you won't have to open a tab and say, forget your card or write an absurd tip amount on the cashier's receipt. Also, for a lot of bars, bartenders prefer cash because they get it right away. Some beverage establishments don't allow their bartenders to draw cash out of the registers at the end of the night. So even if you think you'll end up spending all your cash at the bar because you're carrying around cash, at least you know you're not spending much more than you would on any other given night (Warning: Do bring a credit card just in case you need some $$$ for a cab or something...but you only need one card...the others could get lost when you epically lose your wallet).
2. Don't get into an argument with a hot girl...
This one you'll never win. There's a generally accepted principle that you shouldn't get into arguments with girls in the first place. The escalation process is very one-sided and you really have to back down when things could get physical (and not good physical). Obviously, life isn't always how we expect it and you will run into a few foul-mouthed, inconsiderate individuals of the XX-type. Yeah, you wish you could give them a real piece of your mind, but that's why you roll with a few girls of your own (friends and/or actual girlfriend). If you have an assertive entourage of the fairer sex, you can have them help with the dirty work, that is, using the words that only make you look like an asshole when you use them (this is why it's called the Real Talk Commandments). If things get really bad, leave the drink spilling and hair pulling to them. Don't worry, they have the proper training.
The only time when it's worse than getting into an argument with a girl, is getting into an argument with a hot girl. Let's paint the picture.
Chances are the only reason you are getting into an argument with a hot girl is not by choice. If it was up to you, you would be spitting the normal game you usually spit on a Friday night when you typically get shot down. That's a given. However, on the rare occasion where an argument just naturally develops, you are pretty much fucked. You can call her a slut, call her ugly, or call her fat...but you know all of these are untrue. When you resort to these contrived insults, you are only making the situation worse and further ruining your night and reputation at that given bar. Even worse is the looming possibility that the hot girl's super-jacked, protein-shake guzzling boyfriend is nearby. In this case, no one will have your back.
If you're not a hot girl, you've come to realize that they're the most privileged class of people on earth. Every girl wants to be them and every guy wants to be with them. Even if you're feuding with one, you still want to sleep with her because she's hot. It's a sick reality. The best idea is to have a girlfriend who is hot and also know a lot of hot girls who consider you their friend. This is the best way to hedge against being in the position of helpless guy getting into an argument with hot girl.
3. You should respect your elders but not the ones who are complete assholes to you...
I'm very old school and believe in such principles as respecting your elders and chivalry. You help an old lady at the grocery store and let ladies sit down before you. It's mostly something you grow up with and continue on the rest of your life. Most of the time you don't get recognized for these acts but that's not why we do them. It's just part of being a good citizen of the world (sounds a bit weak, but I'm deep like that).
One thing I won't put up with is letting an old person step all over you and be a complete asshole. There's a difference between respecting your elders and letting a person who just happened to be born before you say anything they want to you and as a result make you feel like shit. I'm sorry but I think you have a right to put someone in their place even if they're older than you.
A few weeks ago, a really old cab driver came up to me at work and complained how bad our business had become. I tried to spin it positive but this old geezer was just full of the dark side. Complained about the cleanliness of the building, the people who worked there and how he hated coming there. He then proceeded to use our bathroom and leave. So, my first instinct was to understand that he's a senior citizen who probably doesn't have much going in his life and probably never has. How can you blame a person for not being in love with life if his life sucks? Smile and say goodbye right?
But that has nothing to do with making another individual feel like they are a bad person. If you're in a position where some geriatric sour apple is just railing at you as a person or things that you stand for, you don't have to just stand there and nod. If you're at work like I was, of course you do, but in your own personal life, absolutely not. Tell them that they're out of line and just because they're old, that doesn't give them a right to say anything they want to. If they disagree on continue on with their rant, then you can put them in their place...geriatric fuck.
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